cue "Breaking News" music and graphic
Charlie Gibson: Good afternoon. We regret interrupting our regularly scheduled programming, but we have an important announcement coming in from the RazZDoodle camp. For about a year now, RazZDoodle has been back and forth on running a marathon and unnamed sources have told ABC News that he's holding a press conference in just a few minutes to make his announcement. I assure you that after this, you'll be returned to All My Children where you can watch the same f***ing story line that's been going on for decades. If you're that troubled and you can't follow it by missing one day, you're a goddamn moron."*
RazZDoodle: I want to thank you all for coming today. For the past few years, I've been on the fence about running a marathon. I told many of you here today that I'd make my decision after the Lincoln Half Marathon. I think I'm ready to make my announcement. I'm going to be training for the IMT Des Moines Marathon on October 19th, 2008.
Reporter 1: So, you're going to be running a marathon.
RazZDoodle: That's what I just said, yes. Where did you go to J-School? Colorado?
Reporter 2: That's 26.2 miles.
RazZDoodle: That is correct.
Reporter 3: Are you ready for that type of commitment?
RazZDoodle: I'm not quite sure. There could be some stumbling blocks along the way.
Reporter 1: So there will be stumbling blocks?
RazZDoodle: Yes. I'll be gone for a week in late-July where running may not be an option....at least not without a potential hangover. There's also injury, fatigue, time commitment, giving up my diet of coffee and ice cream, etc.
Reporter 2: Describe your training program.
RazZDoodle: I, uh, haven't gotten that far yet. When I settle on one, there'll be a press release.
Charles Gibson: So there you have it. RazZDoodle is making the commitment. When we have more information, we'll break into your programming. Maybe during One Life to Live. Good night and good luck. Hah! Take that Murrow!"
*wouldn't it be awesome if he said that?