RazZDoodle: Forgive me father, for I have not run. It has been one week since my last run.
Priest: I see. Well, my child, I don't see any harm in th-.
RazZDoodle: I'm training for my first marathon.
Priest: Oh......well......were you injured?
RazZDoodle: I am, father. I think I may have Plantar Fasciitis.
Priest: Ah. Well, I'm assuming that since you're a devout runner, you managed to maintain by doing some cross training.
RazZDoodle: (nervously) Uh....well......does walking count?
Priest: A brisk walk is always good. How many times did you walk last week, my child?
RazZDoodle: I walked from a Husker tailgate to the stadium.
Priest: (silence)
RazZDoodle: Father?
Priest: And at this tailgate, did you partake in any sinful foods or libations?
RazZDoodle: This isn't being taped, right? I mean, Tom and Amy aren't going to see this, are they?
Priest: No, they did away with cameras when the feds came down on the whole pedophilia "situation".
RazZDoodle: Ah. Well, I may have enjoyed some pancakes and coffee.
Priest: Not a mortal sin, my son.
RazZDoodle: 4 pancakes, 2 with chocolate chips, 1 with raspberries and 1 with chocolate chips and raspberries. Oh, and the coffee may have had some Tullamore Dew in there. Call it an ode to another runner.
Priest: Hmmm. Well, with no cross training and no healthy eating, you are going to have to repent, son.
RazZDoodle: I know father. Lay it on me.
Priest: I want you to recite Page 31 of the new Runners World 15 times and you must run Monday morning no matter what the conditions.
RazZDoodle: It's supposed to rain tomorrow, father.
Priest: Do you think the holy trinity of Rodgers, Salazar or Beardsley cared about rain?
RazZDoodle: No father. Will this help my injury?
Priest: I'm not a healer, my child. You'll need to go to a doctor for that.
And with that, I'm back on the road.......
19 comments:
Thankfully I'm not Catholic or else I too would have to confess that I haven't run in a week. I figure I'm already going to hell anyway, so one more sin can't hurt, right? ;)
I have visited this exact confessional before, and I know what it is to dip my head in shame for lack of running and poor nutrition. Although, pancakes and spiked coffee seem merely a venal, not a mortal, sin.
Shame be with you.
So, you doin' 18 this weekend?
HA HA HA - the holy trinity indeed does not care about rain.
Pancakes and some hoochie in the coffee seems pretty mild compared to what was going on at ISU. :D Besides the extensive tail gating, I then had my 55lb 5 year old on my shoulders for 10 minutes on the field, waiting for the players to come out. OUCH. Maybe that's why my mile was 10:07??
Glad you are back at it!
Tullamore Dew? Amen, brother.
Hope the foot is feeling better. Take good care of it and it'll take care of you. And if need be, take some more Tully Dew. Cheers!
Is this still a self diagnosis? If so you might actually need some confirmation from a Dr.
Pancakes and Hooch...Sure beats the Hard Mikes and donuts I ingested.
You are going to have to work your butt off this week.
Damn, that Beardsley is always bedeviling everyone. Watch out for him.
Fill your water bottle from the holy water before you leave confession.
By the way, you suck at college football picks! The CU Easter Washington game was much closer than you thought. I guess the eags are better than we all thought, right? Right?
Or Colorado is worse...
Razz. You are so going to hell. Just remember, Friends fly free!
Husker tailgate my eye.
So, what about them 'dogs? They gonna make your college picks for the week?
Hahaha I love this post.
So it's monday..did you run?
"Hey. Was that YOU quoted in the latest issue of Runner's World??????"
What are you talking about? If so I have no idea...makes me want to go run out and buy a copy now!
Loved the post. I live with a catholic wife and sons.....great post...made me laught out loud.
hahah oh man great post! good luck with the repentance!
Welcome back! Question is - have your lower extremeties forgiven you?
thanks for the tip about the quote...it may be me; I honestly don't remember. Which month are you referring to? We don't get mags in a timely fashion in Hawaii
I wonder if there's running in heaven? or hell?
Pancakes sound soooo good right now!
Too funny!!
Yes, Amy and I saw the post, but we were right there with you on your shoulder cheering you on through your confession.
You should have come clean about the tailgating earlier and the padre might have gone easier on you.
St. Frank Shorter hates running in the rain and he would have sided with you.
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