For the year, I've PR'd in 4 of my 5 races.
I'm currently in training to run a marathon.
And yet....
I can't run the length of 6 parking stalls without getting gassed. Let me explain, it was a beautiful, crisp autumn morning and friends and family gathered for yet another tailgate*. A few of my buddies decided that they wanted to play a little football in the parking lot. 2 Hand Touch below the waist. The end zones were clearly defined: Toyota Sienna to Dodge 4x4.
Of course, I started out as receiver. My mantra in any type of football game is: "RazZ Needs His Touches". Apparently, our "star" all-time quarterback, did not realize this. I threw everything I had at my defender. A little shake and bake down the sidelines. A few curl routes. Nothing. Not even a look. AND I WAS OPEN!!! I was starting to feel like T.O. without the popcorn. Of course, it didn't help that our quarterback was 12 years old. He probably couldn't even see me. Plus he was running an ineffective "just get out there and get open" offense. Much like Colorado's. Not only that, but I was getting winded. The hell? How does this happen? I can run 13 miles, but I can't run 3 consecutive post patterns without putting my hands on my knees?
I demoted our QB and promptly tossed 2 touchdown passes on our next 2 possessions. Think the 12 year old got a look?
Here are RazZ's stats:
Passing
Completions - 2
Attempts - 2
TPS (total parking stalls) - 7
TD - 2
Int - 0
Receiving
Rec. TPS. - 0
TD - 0
Number of times completely wide open - 1 gagillion
I chalked the whole experience up as cross-training.
*Tailgate Menu - potato casserole, cinnamon rugelach (pastry), sausage, french toast, coffee, orange juice, tomato juice additives for said coffee, OJ and tomato juice.
10 comments:
Wide open...Had me laughing so loud! They probably don't want to hurt you, since they know you are *officially* in training for your Marathon!
You like two hand touch below the waist, huh? ;)
Football is a dirty, dirty game.
Think of it as speedwork. Plus, it helped burn off some of that delicious sounding food.
terrific tailgate menu....only lacking in alcohol! Where was the vodka for the tomato juice, or the champagne for the OJ? Or how about plain old beer? You can't call it a tailgate without that...or maybe that's just here in Louisiana? ;)
Maybe you were outrunning the ability of the QB to throw that far. Ever try to hit a gazelle in stride? Yeah, go with that.
Additives? I approve.
You should have pulled the "go long" routine with that little punk.
Go long. No, farther. Farther. Keep going ... that always gets 'em.
2 of 2 with 2TDs and 0INTs? Dan Hawkins is planning a recruiting trip to your house. Of course, he's also planning one to the 12 year old's house too...
Sounds like a great tailgate! Unfortunately my weekend tailgate was a bit soggy...as in torrential downpours...probably would have made for some good two hand touch though!
great post.
bet that 12 year old learned his lesson.
I feel the same way when trying to run for the bus-- or across the street. I would like to be able to say I can understand your Football Talk but it's way over my head so I just skipped down to rugelach. Mmm. So much more than pastry!
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