Some people, however, don't know their limitations. If you're a tad bit overweight, don't wear a shirt that either accentuates that fact or a shirt that fit you when you were 50 lbs. lighter. I don't need to see your "treasure trail" out for the world to see....especially at church.
The same could be said about runners. If you run a 9:00/mile, then don't line up in the front. If you've never practiced the art of Snot Rocketing, then don't try it at mile 5 when I'm behind you.
That being said, I must confront one of my own limitations:
Going shirtless.
I know in all of your heads that you've conjured up this striking image of myself. Tall, dark, handsome. I understand. I get it all the time. When you meet me, though, you'll realize I'm just like the rest of you. Sure, I may be sexy as all hell, but I'm just a regular guy. A regular guy who will never, under any circumstances, take his shirt off. Why? Because that's one of my limitations.
Apparently, it's not for a lot of people that I know and/or see a lot. In fact, I'm convinced that, in my neighborhood, there must be a covenant that states, "If the homeowner intends to do any type of work outside, said owner must be shirtless." Alas, this does not apply to the female homeowner. And that, my dear readers, is a 70/30 shot at best.
Nevertheless, if I plan on doing these blasted intervals throughout the summer, I have to have a strategy. The way I see it, I have 1 of 2 options:
- Do my interval training early in the morning.
- Do interval training later in the day, but without a shirt.
It's getting pretty damn humid here in the Heartland, so that's why I have to make this decision. Seeing as though I didn't have the foresight to build a track in my backyard, I'd be forced to drive to the local track and do my training. Do I really want to be that guy? Isn't it enough that I've bought the shoes, the wicking shirts, the Garmin, etc.? Am I now so entrenched that I am willing to drive at the butt crack o'dawn to get my training in?
Number 2 isn't much better of an option. For the sake of all Heartland-kind, it just wouldn't be fair. That, and the fact that I'd be training at the high school and I know one of my students would be there. I'd put $100 on that in a heartbeat.
So there you have it....the most important decision I have to make this summer. I know, I know, while the rest of you toil at work, I'm making crucial decisions. Have pity on my soul.
12 comments:
I have similar limitations. I don't know. I just don't want to be one of THOSE guys.
I've got the same limitation. I compromised by running in a tank.. I guess the official term is "running singlet", at least according to Target's web site.
Not perfect, but it's as far as I'll go, for the sake of the town.
What use are "wicking shirts" if not in hot weather?
See, you're entering into this scenario under the assumption that people (who are strangers) look at you and care. Let me fill you in: They are not looking at you, and even if they were, they don't care that you're shirtless.
Only your wife cares. So, ask her, "Honey if I go shirtless, will you be shamed from showing your face in public again?" Use her response to determine which course of action you should take.
As long as you're not half man half bear, go for it. I was almost frightened to death when I saw one of the above-mentioned running while I was on my way home the other day.
I hear ya on the humidity. I'm just slightly north of you and was more or less a puddle when I got done running this morning.
I too know my limitations, and shirtless is one....I am not huge, in fact in pretty good shape, but no one needs to see my lovehandles....or my white, pasty skin.....i just run in a singlet.
Psh, I know my limits and then I crash through them. Sorta like a freight train.
I took Jess' approach and asked the wife.... and before she could answer I stripped down and went for a quick 5 miler. Giggling all the way.
When you have pecs like mine, the decision is easy. For you, I can see where this would be a quandry.
Hmmm...students often have cameras, and internet access, and a proclivity for posting. I'd go with #1.
If I took off my shirt, I'd definitely be one of THOSE guys. I'm young enough that I should be able to get away with running without a shirt, but I'm quite sure no one wants to see my chest hair galloping down the street. So, I run with a shirt all the time. I'd rather get up at 3:30am then run without a top.
Aren't you part ginger? If South Park has taught us anything, it's that gingers have no soul and should ALWAYS keep on their shirt.
Although I may have added that last part on my own.
For serious though, I think all wardrobe rules go out the window when on a track working out. I'll judge the fat guy watering his lawn shirtless, but I'd never judge a shirtless guy running on a track. No matter what his size. Good for him for getting out there, and he's allowed to do whatever he wants to stay comfortable.
It's a huge wrinkle that you might run into some students though. That's tricky. Seeing a teacher in street clothes is jaring enough, but seeing a teacher's nipples will garner judgement from teenagers at best and trauma at worst, no matter what the context. With your recent professional failures, I suspect you're on thin ice already.
I vote you either go to another track (Burke is really good) or stick with the singlet.
Just do everyone a favor and keep your pants on.
Post a Comment