Holy ****, What Have I Done? A Race Report

Friday afternoon, I almost resigned myself to the fact that I'd be posting about how I didn't run this race. See, KidDoodle1 came down with strep. Oddly enough, that was pretty fortuitous for yours truly because the rest of the RazZDoodle Saturday suddenly became clear....

Except for my date with a chicken burrito and a 4x400 interval.

I'll be honest. I walked onto our school's track Saturday afternoon with some trepidation. I was half expecting the scene from Monty Python's Holy Grail. Bodies lying everywhere. Lots of wretching. Burrito fragments as far as the eye could see. In reality, it was fairly benign. I saw a LOT of students (100+), a kid being pushed in a wheelchair (broken foot), a homemade burrito mascot and about 10 of my students.

Awesome.

I grabbed my bib # (seriously) and headed over to the field to talk to some fellow competitors (i.e. - teachers). I was looking around to see if anyone was taking this seriously. I spotted one guy, a football coach of ours, who takes everything seriously. He's uber-competitive. Very nice guy, but very competitive. Anyhow, he's warming up by doing strides.

Warming. Up.

I, on the other hand, am cautiously looking around the track for any signs of pukeage and/or poopage. None. There was a rumor that one kid puked but it was never verified. Great...so I could be the one and only.

I get into position, get my burrito, a glass of water and I'm nervous. Let me say that again: I'm nervous. Students, staff, and board members are all watching about 20 of us. Couple that with the fact that a video camera is practically up my nose (in HD, no less). The starter (i.e. - boys XC coach) lines us up, gives us the rules and he blows an airhorn to start us. I can't look at the burrito. I like Qdoba, but not at a rapid pace. Not only that, but this little bugger has pinto beans.

I. Hate. Pinto. Beans.

So, NOW I'm not looking at my burrito. I'm also gunning down water per the suggestion of some students and I'm looking at my competition. Football Coach didn't even chew. He was off like a shot. I suck down the rest of my burrito and I'm the third guy off and running.

Not bad. All systems calm. I make it about half way around the track and the head of our department, who's also the girls cross country coach, is coming up on me. WTF? She's like 100 lbs.! She's a great runner, but this was my one and only chance to beat her. She slowed down to chat with me for about a 1/2 lap and then she was off like a shot.

So there I was, just kinda treating it like an interval run. Oh, and I passed the 2nd guy out of the gate. He must've concentrated on the burrito training moreso than the running portion.

My students? They're cheering me on and shooting video and, for some odd-ass reason, I have my game face on. I'm in a burrito eating contest/race and I've got my game face on. Tool.

I finish. Walk off for about a half lap and then come back....with the worst taste in my mouth.

Ever.

Finishing time (from burrito to finish line): 8:58.

No puking. No pooping. A PR.

Potential pics and video in a future post.

Would I do it again? Absolutely! It was a lot of fun and it was a very successful fundraiser for the Cross Country teams.

But I won't be having a burrito until I have to train.