How To Annoy Teammates and Influence People

I pored over all of your comments from a previous post and Ace came up with a great idea:

I suggest you be "that" guy. You know the one who starts singing songs and tries to get everyone to join in? The guy who plays kids travel games? The guy who brings garlic and onion bagels? The entertainment possibilities are endless.

Thanks Ace. Maybe I should be "that guy". Here are some more ideas:
  • We could sing this:
  • Claim that all this running makes me gassy
  • Tell them I get carsick as soon as I get in the van.
  • Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?
  • How much is a little bit further? How much is a little bit further?
  • Bring a rack of ribs for my lunch.
  • Pull out a flask before I start to drive. Ya know, one for the road.
  • Bring porn
  • Go shirtless, but only inside the van.
  • Hang my head out the window....even if it's raining.
  • Bring my Carpenter's Greatest Hits CD
  • Mad Libs anyone?
  • Stare at the person sitting next to me for an entire stage.

  • Any other ideas?

    Sidenote - It sounds as if my fellow Omahan is hell-bent on making sure she lays down some smack about this relay.

    Her projected win will look good in the trophy case, won't it? An XC2 win means a twentysomething triathlete beat a 37-year-old father of 2. An XC2 loss means said triathlete got beat by a 37-year-old father of 2.

    Personally, I think this smack-talk is a defense mechanism. Let's talk about the elephant in the room, shall we?

    Done and done.

    11 comments:

    Jamoosh said...

    I'd go with "Hooked On A Feeling" especially the opening. Did this during a marathon with a fellow runner. Drove the rest of the people in the group nuts.

    Morgan said...

    BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA I Love it! You must be "that guy"!

    RunnuRMark said...

    I'd down a few more Qdoba burritos and actually back up the "running makes me gassy" claim. Just make the first couple silent so everyone has to sit and wonder for a while before you let the cat out of the bag. Talk about your tension.

    X-Country2 said...

    While I usually don't sling this around: I'm going to be 30 in 36 days.

    Overruled.

    Ace said...

    Nicely done. You've got all the major food groups covered I think. My only suggestion would be to replace the Carpenters with either a Kids Sing and Play CD, or some Yanni. The only risk with the Yanster is that someone in the van might like it and then the title of "that guy" is instantly transferred to him...

    The Sean said...

    state motto trivia is always a good one... or the name game

    Spike said...

    I suggest the "Mmm Bop" song, kids and adults love it! also, can never go wrong with the old finger an inch away from the face while yelling "I'm not touching her!"

    Adam said...

    I've always been a fan of making old school modem / fax machine noises when ever you make a phone call. EEERRRRAAAWWWWWW...AAAWWWWWW

    Side note, I've not only seen porn being watched on the plane, but have also seen it in two cars via the LCD screens that people have in SUVs. Crazy.

    VRaz60 said...

    Don't leave out a rousing game of "Grandmother's Trunk". It is always a crowd pleaser.

    Vanilla said...

    Quote meaningless sports statistics to everyone. "Did you know that Oil Can Boyd had 799 career strikeouts?"

    Great post, btw. For once.

    Vanilla said...

    Sorry, that last 'sentence' was uncalled for. I'm not sure what it is about you that makes me want to take cheap shots at you.