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Monday, January 25, 2010

In Remembrance

I never thought I'd say this, but having a broken treadmill sucks.  I suppose I should've known this day was coming.  I mean, we bought the thing for $50 off of some friends of ours.  The brand?  Uhhhh....something like "i-fit.com" is all I could see.  Yeah, it was quality.

Anywho, my wife, my daughter and I were downstairs this past weekend.  My daughter was engrossed in Hotel for Dogs on my laptop (parenting WIN), my wife was whipping around on her Segway on Wii Fit Plus and I settled in for a 6 mile run.  Could I have gone outside on Saturday and done this?  Absolutely, I could have!  But, my superior parenting/husbandry skills being what they are, I opted to work out and set an example to Little Miss Hotel for Dogs and Segway Woman and show them what a healthy lifestyle looks like.

I sailed along for the first three miles.  Things were going well.  Hell, even my iPod shuffle was shuffling well.  Then, I started to hear a clicking noise.  The noise got to be so loud I had to stop my shuffle halfway through Afternoon Delight.....er.......Welcome to the Jungle.  My wife and daughter looked over at me and gave me the same look my dog does when he hears sirens.  Apparently, something was awry.  It couldn't have been my form.  That's pretty well-documented with words such as "perfect" and "Adonis-like".  What the hell could it be? I quickly hopped onto the rails and the clicking proceeded to get worse....and worse.....and WORSE.

That's what I get for relying on a $50 treadmill from i-fit.com whose website, not surprisingly is defunct with a capital "d".

My point?  I really relied on my treadmill.  Hell, I even may be so bold as to say I needed my treadmill.  Was it a good treadmill?  No.  Did it have all of the cool bells and whistles?  No, but I do miss it's high tech qualities circa 1998.  The simulated oval with its red triangles telling me where I was on the track (pause) in my mind.  The LCD display that didn't light up.  The extra narrow belt.  The noise that would rattle the window.  *sniff*.

Nevertheless, I must move forward.  Get it?  That's ironic because a treadmill has you stay in one...forget it.  Here are my options:
  • Get it fixed - i-fit.com didn't mention any local technicians that could do repairs BECAUSE THERE'S NO MORE (EXPLETIVE) I-FIT.COM ANYMORE!
  • Replace it. - I'm cheap.  I can't justify spending upwards of 4 figures for something I'll use for 3 months.  4 months tops.
  • Join a gym - Again, I'm cheap.  That being said, the prospect of treadmills as far as the eye can see AND opportunities to do some sort of cross-training is mildly appealing.  
  • Use the fitness center here at school  - It's free, but if I do that, I have to potentially work out with my students.  
  • Run outside - Yeah, but this week, morning lows are in the single digits.....with wind.
  • Forget about running until late-March and survive solely on Thin Mints and coffee - Ding!  We have a weiner!  (see how I did that?  It should read "winner", but it's...forget it.)
I'll have to figure something out.  For the sake of my sanity and my health.  More importantly, for the sake of my family's sanity and health.  Come to think of it, it's me being a devoted family man that got me into this mess.  See?  No good can come of things like that.

13 comments:

The Sean said...

buy some gear and get outside... man up!

Betsy said...

Go outside, ya sissy!

Ian said...

My sincerest condolences. I vote that you run at school since it will give you the opportunity to play treadmill incline & speed oneupsmanship.

Jamoosh said...

Gonna find my baby, gonna hold her tight
Gonna grab some afternoon delight
My motto's always been 'when it's right, it's right'
Why wait until the middle of a cold dark night?
When everything's a little clearer in the light of day
And we know the night is always gonna be there any way

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Started out this morning feeling so polite
I always though a fish could not be caught who wouldn't bite
But you've got some bait a waitin' and I think I might try nibbling
A little afternoon delight
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Please be waiting for me, baby, when I come around
We could make a lot of lovin' 'for the sun goes down

Thinkin' of you's workin' up my appetite
Looking forward to a little afternoon delight
Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite
And the thought of lovin' you is getting so exciting
Sky rockets in flight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight
Afternoon delight

Afternoon delight!

Java Joggers said...

Run at school... it's always good to show the students who's who in the pecking order!

ShutUpandRun said...

I can't beleive you don't have an option #7 which would be to buy another $50 treadmill since that worked so well last time. Seriously, I'd suck it up and go run with your students. They might actually be impressed or just talk a lot behind your back.

jeffg said...

Welcome to the Jungle
Damn! Just a few clicks behind Jamoosh AGAIN!!

We've got fun 'n' games
We got everything you want
Honey, we know the names
We are the people that can find
Whatever you may need
If you got the money, honey
We got your disease

[CHORUS:]

In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees
I wanna watch you bleed

Welcome to the jungle
We take it day by day
If you want it you're gonna bleed
But it's the price you pay
And you're a very sexy girl
That's very hard to please
You can taste the bright lights
But you won't get them for free
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
I, I wanna hear you scream

Welcome to the jungle
It gets worse here everyday
Ya learn ta live like an animal
In the jungle where we play
If you got a hunger for what you see
You'll take it eventually
You can have anything you want
But you better not take it from me

[CHORUS]

And when you're high you never
Ever want to come down, YEAH!

You know where you are
You're in the jungle baby
You're gonna die
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Feel my, my, my serpentine
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
knees, knees
In the jungle
Welcome to the jungle
Watch it bring you to your
It' gonna bring you down-HA!
Guns N' Roses Welcome To The Jungle

Kevin said...

I with ShutUpAndRun buy another cheap dreadmill. How many schumcks out there have one in there house with clothes stacked on it.

Xenia said...

#6 all the way! Hell, send me some Thin Mints and I'll join you.

TCHusker - Nate said...

I vote buy another cheap treadmill also. I bet there's someone out there on Craig's list who inherited a treadmill and is selling it for $20 plus a meal from Wendy's.

Jess said...

Check craigslist and maybe you'll be able to find any cheap treadmill to tie you over until the weather starts to warm up.

Adam said...

stuipd work... Jamoosh totally beat me to it. I need to figure out a way to check blogs at work.

Hmm, you're in quite a pickle. Craigs may be hard to find one this time of year with the new-years resolution people there. You may have to either pony up the cash or grit through the chit chat with the kiddies.

wiener...hehe - never gets old.

B.o.B. said...

I say bite the bullet and run with students. It's free.

Then again, you could always check craig's list. But be careful, I bet peeps have jacked up their prices due to the new year.

Hilarious post btw. Oh, and thanks for the condolences.