Who Shrunk These?

Last night, my wife tries on her new dress for this semi-formal dinner/fundraiser that we're going to this Saturday.  Don't start.  It's for our kid's school.  Anywho, I decide to try on my suit before this little shindig just to see if it still fit.  My 2 suits have been taking up much-needed hoodie sweatshirt space in my closet since we moved in nearly 6 years ago.  Not surprisingly, the first thing I noticed was the dust on it.  Whoops.  OK, it probably needs to be dry cleaned anyhow.  I think the last time I wore it was when I was dancing around a bar after the wedding caterers kicked us out.


Next thing, was that the belt was stuck to the pants.  Stuck. To. The. Pants.  After some light pulling, the belt pulled off.  No big deal, I'll wear another belt, problem solved.  Then, I tried on the coat.  I looked so sexy with my Adidas pants and wool coat.  Damn sexy.

Then, came the pants.

Fuck.

Now, I can't go out and get a new suit and have it ready by Saturday and, really, the only time I wear a suit is to some weddings and a funeral here or there.  Now what?  Eat better and run like hell, I guess.  Yesterday didn't help.  A parent that I helped out with a project brought in a dozen cupcakes.  The kind of cupcakes that you see on Cupcake Wars (which is an actual show).  Today was "Build Your Own Nachos" for lunch, but you know what?  I opted for the salad..and put cheese on it....and breaded chicken....and creamy italian dressing.

Oh yeah, those pants are going to fit me sooner than I think.