When we moved into our house 6 years ago, I glanced over our Neighborhood Association's bylaws and it looked pretty straightforward. I must have missed the "Males must show their pasty, white midsection whilst mowing the lawn." clause. It's quite disturbing, let me tell you. Oh, and I think there's a sub-clause that tanning is optional. As a wise friend always told me: "Tan fat is sexier than white fat." Too bad I'm of Irish/Croatian heritage.
I've always been about knowing your limitations. I realize that people come in all shapes and sizes. That being said, some still think that shorty shorts (both male and female) are the best option for each and every occasion over the summer. Um, no. There are 2 things where I know my limitations:
- I should wear a shirt in public. The only....only...exception to this rule is at the pool/lake/beach although, if it's obnoxiously warm in the morning, I'll run without a shirt.
- I shouldn't grow facial hair (more on that later this week).
My favorite shirtless wonder is the 70 year old guy in the neighborhood on the Hoveround who takes his lap dog out for a walk/roll. We all point and laugh at him in the car and it's good fun for the Razz family*. That's how we roll. Get it? Roll?
*Not because he's confined to the Hoveround (my son actually wants one), but the fact that it's 8am and he's shirtless and rolling with his dog.